FinanceBoy for President!

NEW BLOG ADDRESS

2006-10-22T13:25:00.000-04:00

Check out my new all-singing, all-dancing blog at: www.financeboyforpresident.com

That's right, I now have my own hosted blog, so check it out!

Viva La France, Viva La QWERTY

2006-10-20T11:21:00.001-04:00

So here I am, stuck in Paris Charles De Gaulle airport for a 2 hour layover on my way from Luxembourg to JFK. The Air France lounge has some computers with internet access so I figure I'll go online check email and such. Then I noticed the keyboard. Apparently they don't use the QWERTY keyboard in France; instead they use something called the AZERTY keyboard (see if you can figure out the first 6 letters in the top left) Now once you've learned to type on a QWERTY keyboard and hqve done it for 15 years or so, you develop some muscle memory as to where the keys should be. But alas they are not there. On the plus side, they do have some symbols we dont have in the US like € and £, qnd qlso é, è, ç, ù and à. Bottom line though I'm back to the two finger method of typing. On the plus side they were trusting enough to not have any internet security programs installed so I could download AIM and talk to people while I wait for my plane. Anyway, this keyboard is really getting annoying so I'm gonna go now.

What country am I in?

2006-10-15T10:05:00.000-04:00

Well it's certainly been a while since I last posted, mostly because I've been travelling a lot lately. I have one more trip next week then will be home until Thanksgiving. In the past month or so, I've been to Toronto, Mexico City and London, and now am heading off to Luxembourg next week. I had the weirdest thing happen to me though. When I was in Toronto, I totally blacked out on what country I was in. I was in a restaurant having dinner with the group I was meeting with, and as I was walking to the men's room, for some reason I had no idea what country I was in. It was the strangest feeling but I actually had to stop and think about where I was. Took me a few moments before I remembered I was in Canada. On the plus side, I've spent enough hours on a plane to become a movie critic in my spare time. So here's my thoughts on current movie offerings on airlines:

Continental Airlines:
Mission Impossible 3: (B+) A pretty fun mindless action movie, that gets better by the 4th time you've seen it (thank you Continental for the lack of variety). Philip Seymour Hoffman makes an excellent villian, but the movie loses points because Tom Cruise is bat-shit crazy and it distracts you from the plot.
X-Men 3: (A-) Good all around sequel (or whatever the correct term for the third movie should be), continuing the X-Men franchise. Nice to see the ever expanding cast of mutants. Plus Halle Berry is in it, so that's good for some extra credit.

British Airways:
Click: (B-) Decent, but a little confused. Starts out as a comedy and ends a drama. Plus, the story of "career man is shown a future where he is wildly successful at work but loses his family and then is given a second chance and realises how family is more important than work" isn't exactly original thought. Nice to see David Hasselhoff again, and not in a bathing suit.
Poseidon: (D) Boring. Very boring. Emmy Rossum is nice to look at, but not for 90 minutes.
The Break-Up: (B) Better than I expected. Vince Vaughn is funny, but I'm starting to think he went to the Richard Gere School of Acting, since he plays the same character in every movie he's in. Jennifer Aniston looks good.
The Devil Wears Prada: (C) Pretty boring, though not as bad as Poseidon. Anne Hathaway is pretty hot, but again that's not enough to keep me interested for 2 hours. Only reason I chose this movie was I had worked my way through the library and had to choose between this and Garfield 2.
The DaVinci Code: (A) It's as good as the book. The plot moves quickly and keeps you interested. Even after reading the book, it was an enjoyable movie. Plus Audrey Tautou is nice to look at.

I think that's enough for now. I'll be back next weekend with a report on Air France (which by the way has some of the best flight attendants in the business).

Time for some routine maintenance

2006-08-29T08:12:00.000-04:00

It has been about 10 years now since I last went to the doctor for a physical. I had been thinking of going for a while, but to be honest just never had the motivation to find a doctor (my last doctor of record was a pediatrician, which doesn't work now that I'm 26) and make an appointment. In fairness, I did call a doctor a year or so ago to make an appointment for a physical, but the computer at the doctor's office was down and they couldn't make appointments, and I never called back. My company changed health plans as of this past July (we're on a July 1 - June 30 fiscal year) and the new plans include a routine physical that's 100% covered by the plan every 3 years if you're under 30 and annually after 30 with a company called Executive Health Exams. I'm not sure why I decided to make an appointment now (maybe it was the easy web-based appointment process), but I'm scheduled for 11am today. According to my friends who have done the physical with this group already, I'm in for 2-3 hours of poking, prodding and testing. Here's the list of what they're going to do to me today:

Complete review of medical history and physical exam (the poking and prodding bit).
Blood tests: cholesterol screening, complete blood count, metabolic profile, iron saturation and blood chemistry.
Urinalysis (note to self, drink lots of water before the appointment)
Audiometric evaluation
Vision assessment
Tonometry (glaucoma) test
Spirometry test (lung function)
Resting EKG
Chest X-ray (if deemed medically necessary)

Now I am grateful that my company is picking up such an extensive physical exam program, even though I know they're doing it to try and reduce healthcare costs by detecting problems early. I'm interested to see what the doctors find, and hope it's more than just the typical: "try to lose weight, exercise more and reduce stress." What was stupid of me was scheduling the appointment for late in the morning, since I can't have anything to eat after dinner the night before (stupid blood tests). So basically here's the situation: I haven't had anything to eat since 7:30 last night, and won't have anything to eat until about 2pm this afternoon. Add to that the poking and prodding, and this is not going to be a happy day.

This is the world we live in

2006-08-12T08:53:00.000-04:00

This past Thursday I was scheduled to go to Washington DC for a meeting. I was planning to take the Delta Shuttle since it's the fastest way to get down there. On Wednesday afternoon I decided to check the weather report, and saw they were predicting storms for Thursday afternoon. Since both LaGuardia and Reagan National have a tendency to delay flights even at the mere mention of bad weather, I thought I'd play it safe and switch my travel plans to take the Acela instead of the shuttle. When I woke up Thursday morning and turned on the news, I was very glad I made that decision. Is it just me or is the world becoming more crazy on a day to day basis. It seems like over the past five years things have been spiraling out of control, from 9/11 to Madrid, Bali and London. Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran, North Korea and now Israel-Lebanon. Kind of makes me long for the good old days of the Cold War. Now I wasn't alive during the 60s at the height of the fears of nuclear war, but by the 80s, things had pretty much settled down into a pretty stable pattern. Now I don't know, but it seems like everything's going to hell. On a personal note, I fly pretty often for work, so I definitely took notice of this latest threat. What's strange is I'm less concerned about the possibility of being on a plane that's attacked (although that's definitely in the back of my mind), but more about the increased hassle of flying. In response to the threat, they've prohibited liquids on planes and have instituted secondary security checks at the departure gate. There have been bombs in suitcases, bombs in shoes, and now liquid bombs. Where does it end?

Time to buy a new car - UPDATE

2006-08-07T11:37:00.000-04:00

Well, I did it this weekend. And actually the car salesman wasn't too bad. Other than some expected and typical sales lines ("What's it gonna take for me to get you into a new car today?", "Well, I'll tell you...[looks around the showroom]...I just want to make sure my manager doesn't hear me tell you this, but..."), the guy was ok. He did get a little ahead of himself and started to work up numbers before I had even test drove the car, but overall a pretty pleasant experience. They even called a few different finance companies to see which would offer the best deal on the car (which the Acura dealer I got my last car from didn't do). At the end of the day, I'll still owe the finance company a few grand in mileage penalties on the last lease, but managed to get the new one at invoice price. Actually it didn't take much arm twisting to convince me to get the new car after driving it. I've also driven the BMW 3-series and Audi A4, but like the Acura better. The 3-series is a little smaller and feels cramped, and I've heard horror stories about the reliability of Audi's (not to mention they're also a little small on the inside). Overall I'm very happy with the new car, and now just need to pick a name for her. All suggestions are welcome.

What do you mean we're lost? UPDATE

2006-08-05T09:22:00.000-04:00

The charge for this car trip just showed up on my AMEX: $200. Normally a car from JFK to my apartment is like $115. I am really not happy. My assistant has called the car service to complain, but so far no call back. I've told her if they don't reduce the fare to a reasonable level, to tell them I will never use them again. Since I spend close to $1,000 a month on car services, this is not an empty threat. More to come...

People make me angry. You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

2006-08-05T08:51:00.000-04:00

FinanceBoy angry. FinanceBoy SMASH. Let me clarify, not all people make me angry. It's really just a few...and they've usually done something to deserve it. Yesterday I encountered two people that made me angry. First was the jackass on the plane (soon to be the sequel to Snakes on a Plane) that was sitting in front of me and decided to use his PSP at full volume. Without headphones. Now thankfully my Bose noise-cancelling headphones drowned this out for most of the flight, so I didn't say anything to this guy. Also, he was a large and grumpy townie-looking fellow, and I really didn't feel like starting a ruckus in-flight. Speaking of the flight, that leads to the second person that made me angry yesterday, but first some back story.

I had a meeting in Chicago yesterday, so I was flying out and back in the same day. Needless to say it would be a long day since I had a 6:30am flight, and was booked on the 7:30pm return (which would get me into Newark at 10:30pm). So when my meeting ended a little early, I asked my assistant to see if she could get me on an earlier flight home. She is a godsend and got me on the 6:05pm flight home. I sit in Chicago Friday-evening traffic (which is bad) and get to the airport at about 5:15. When I check in, I am told that my flight has been delayed an hour. I get to the security checkpoint and there is a long line. For once the planets are aligned and I was randomly selected for the secondary security screening. Normally this would not be good, but it means that I get to skip the long line and end up getting through security quicker. We board and push back at 7:05. As we are taxiing to the runway, we pull off to the side and I hear the engines power down. This is never a good sign. A second later the pilot gets on the intercom and announces that we're being held for another 30 minutes. He explains that there were storms that moved through Newark earlier that afternoon and it's caused all sorts of air traffic delays. I'm not happy, but understand that the Newark-New York airspace is some of the most crowded in the world, so a storm can really mess things up for several hours after the storms have passed. I continue reading my book and we take off as promised at 7:45. When I get to Newark, my driver is waiting (NB: same car service as the Lost story, but this guy knew how to get to Bridgewater) and as we walk to the car I ask about the storms, since it seems just as hot as before I left. Driver's response: "We didn't get any storms here." THE PILOT LIED TO US! The weather was clear in Chicago, clear in New York, yet he blamed the 90 minutes of delays on weather!

Maybe I'm just getting old and cranky.

Time to buy a new car

2006-08-02T10:43:00.000-04:00

The lease on my car ends on Sept. 4, so its time for me to start considering options for my next car. With a lease, it should be pretty easy: give them back their car and get a new one. Well, here's the catch - due to some unforeseen client assignments (before I became a management type and started working in NYC) and a 5 month relocation to Washington DC a few summers ago, I'm a bit over my mileage allowance. By a bit over I mean about 18,000 miles over. This translates into about $2700 in mileage penalties. Here's the other catch - interest rates have gone up a bit since 2002 when I got my current car (an Acura TL Type-S), so the monthly payment for a new version of the same car will go up about $200. Now that I work in the city, it's hard to justify paying $550 a month for a car that I drive 15 minutes a day. Especially when I have to pay $300/month on top of that for a train pass. So basically I need to sit down with my friendly local Acura dealer on Saturday to see what I can work out because on the other hand I'd really like a new car. Don't get me wrong, I really like my current car, but I get bored very quickly and feel like its time for a new car. The irony is that by "new" car, I mean a new TL, but it has been completely redesigned since I got mine and no longer looks like an overpriced Honda Accord. I've also looked at other cars (BMW 3-series, Infiniti G35 coupe, Audi A4), but the BMW is very overpriced (for the same features as a TL, it would cost about $10,000 more), and I know people who've had problems with the Infiniti and Audi. Everyone I know with a TL loves it, myself included. So there is some method to my madness.

Now I think the comic Ron White summed it up best when he said "the worst part about buying a new car is that you have to talk to a car salesman....nobody else sells cars." I am not really looking forward to dealing with the salesman, but it's got to be done. I'll be sure to give you the update this weekend.

What do you mean we're lost?

2006-07-30T08:08:00.000-04:00

Well I'm back on a few different levels. One level, I just got back from London. Another level, it's been a while since I posted. I'll try to post more frequently in the future, but there may be more times where I'm radio silent due to work or travel schedules.

London was great, and is quickly cementing its place as my second favorite city (after NYC). They do need to upgrade their air conditioning capacity, but overall an awesome city. Plus, I have a few friends that live there, so it's always good to be able to spend some time with them, checking out the local English bar scene. On a side note and preview for another post, on both trips to London, I've witnessed random acts of nudity (not my own) in a bar. I'm starting to think its an English thing to get drunk and start taking off clothes in the bar, but will need to look into this further.

This post will focus on the final portion of my trip - the actual trip home from London. How was it? Well I think it's best summarized by the following facts:

London to New York (JFK Int'l Aiport): 3,458 miles; travel time: 6 hrs. 45 min.
JFK Int'l Airport to Bridgewater, NJ: 66 miles; travel time: 2 hrs. 20 min.

How, you ask, could it take 2 and a half hours to get home from JFK? I'll tell you how: my driver was an idiot. Things were going well. The flight got in 5 minutes ahead of schedule, I breezed through immigration and customs, and my driver was waiting right where he should be. We go out to the car and I fall asleep within 5 minutes (we landed at 9pm EDT, which is 2am London time). Next thing I know, I wake up as I feel the car slowing down. Much to my surprise we are pulling into a gas station, and nothing looks familiar. I look at the clock and its 10:30. I start to be concerned, since we should have been in Bridgewater about 15 minutes ago. I get more concerned when the driver says "I'm not lost, I just need to look at my map for a second." Here's the conversation that followed:

Driver: "Do you know anything about 287 ending?"
Me: "What? Where are we?"
Driver: "Well we're in NJ, I was on 287 and it just ended, now I think we're on Route 1&9"
Me: "Were you on 287 north or south?"
Driver: "West"
Me: "287 doesn't go west in NJ, it goes north and south. Where did you get on 287?"
Driver: "Well I took the Outerbridge Crossing and got onto 287. (Shows me his map) See? 287 should go right through Bridgewater."
Me: (Head dropping in digust) "Oh no...that's a different 287. Where are we now?"
Driver: "Well we're in NJ"

At this point I am thoroughly disgusted with the driver. How could you not do your homework beforehand to see that the 287 at the Outerbridge Crossing is not the same 287 that runs through Bridgewater. If you look at a map, it's pretty clear. Well it ended up we had gotten off of 1&9, but were still somewhat close to Rahway. I still don't know how it took us 90 minutes to get from JFK to Rahway, but at least I was able to finally get this guy to Bridgewater.

Random thoughts

2006-06-13T10:38:00.000-04:00

It has been almost a week since my last post and for that I apologize. Truth is it's been a slow week and not much to write about. Well that's not entirely true, I have a lot going on but it is work-related and therefore off limits to talk about. My job follows the first two rules of Fight Club (Rule #1: You do not talk about your job. Rule #2: You DO NOT talk about your job.) As my boss put it, I am cleared for the "nuclear bomb secrets" of my company, but the price I pay for being in the know is that I can't talk about it with anyone. So as a result, large chunks of my day are pretty much off limits to writing about. So instead you get my random thoughts about things that either happen to me personally, or that I read about in the news or on the net. This post will be one of the former.

I went out to lunch yesterday with a colleague, and when I stopped by her office at lunchtime she was downloading songs to her ipod. We started talking about our respective ipod's and she said that the two essential things to own when you live in the city is an ipod and sunglasses. I ask her why sunglasses and she replies that it prevents tourists from making eye contact with you and then they don't ask you questions. The light bulb above my head goes on. I've found that if you are dressed in a suit in the city, people assume you know how to get everywhere and would be happy to help them find where they are going. Now I am pretty familiar with the city, and know how to get to the popular touristy places, but a) have not memorized every detail of the subway and bus maps, and b) just want to be left alone so I can get where I'm going in peace. As I leave work that day, I am thinking about what my colleague said about eye contact, and decide to try it out. I don't normally bring sunglasses with me since I wear glasses and switching back and forth can be a pain, but I decide that I will consciously avoid eye contact with everyone on the sidewalk to see if I can get to Penn Station without a tourist asking me for directions. I no sooner finish this thought when a late teens tourist girl foils my plan by running, full speed, straight at me. It is hard not to look at someone when they are running straight at you. She stops right next to me. We are standing on the corner of 42nd and 5th. Here is the conversation that followed:

Her: Is Times Square that way? (pointing toward Madison Ave.)
Me: Uh, no. Turn around. (She turns around and is now facing west). You see all that neon right in front of you?
Her: Yeah
Me: That's it. (NB: If she were attractive I probably would've been more polite in my approach)
Her (to her friend): Ugh, we kept walking in the wrong direction.

Don't ask me how you "keep walking in the wrong direction" from Times Square. There's only 4 directions to possibly try. Nor do I know how you can be two blocks away and not see it. I tried using my ipod to scare away people from asking me questions but that doesn't work. They still ask. I think its time to start wearing sunglasses to work.

An ode to NJ Transit

2006-06-07T21:29:00.000-04:00

(sung to the tune of "My Favorite Things")

Trains that are late 'cause of Amtrak construction
Missing connections at Newark Penn Station
Bums and panhandlers begging for change
This is why I love New Jersey Transit

Big sweaty people who could use a shower
People packed in as though they were all cattle
Pushing and shoving to get through the doors
This is why I love New Jersey Transit

Tourists with baggage that blocks all the aisles
'Lectrical problems so trains are not running
Cross-honored tickets to squeeze on the PATH
This is why I love New Jersey Transit

When the day ends
And I leave work
Ready to head home
I quickly remember I don't have my car
And that makes me feel...so sad

And the Darwin Award goes to...

2006-06-05T12:45:00.000-04:00

I typically don't laugh at other people's stupidity if someone has died in the incident, but I'll make an exception for this. Not sure how many of you all heard about the two college kids in Florida that died over the weekend. Here's a link to the story. Apparently these two geniouses climbed inside a giant 8-foot wide helium balloon that was being used to advertise a local condominium development. Not surprisingly, they died.

What could these two have been thinking before they did this? Obviously, if a balloon is filled with helium...there is no oxygen inside. I know we all like inhaling helium to make our voices sound funny, but there's a difference between inhaling a few puffs of helium and climbing into a balloon that is full of it, with no source of oxygen. It's simple biology. No oxygen = suffocation. Just more proof that evolution continues to weed out the weakest of the species.

Things I heard and saw in the city today

2006-06-02T22:39:00.000-04:00

Heard by the corner of 42nd and Madison

Tourist woman, looking up at the street sign: We're on East 42nd Street. How do we get to West 42nd Street?

Seen in the 5th Ave/Bryant Park subway station

The weather was awful today. It was pouring rain. Subway tunnels were flooded and some trains weren't running. It was 5pm on a Friday. The station is packed literally shoulder to shoulder with people all trying to move in different directions. A woman is pushing her way through the crowd, holding her 1 year old baby in front of her and pushing people out of the way with the baby while simultaneously yelling "watch out for my baby!" Honestly, you should have to pass a test before being allowed to procreate, because some people evidently aren't up to the task.

A night out

2006-06-01T20:07:00.000-04:00

So one of my friends at work comes up to me at around 4 o'clock to see if I want to head over to Bryant Park after work. Apparently they're setting up a huge screen and showing the Yankees game. I have nothing else to do, so I say sure. Here's a play by play of the rest of the night:

6:30pm: We leave the office and walk over to Bryant Park. Thankfully the weather has cooled off a little bit from the noontime high of roughly "surface of the sun."

6:35: We arrive at Bryant Park and are immediately presented with a dilemma. The screen is set up so that the bar is behind the screen. You cannot see the game from the bar, and cannot bring drinks into the park where you can see the game. Stupid open container laws.

6:36: We decide alcohol is more important than baseball and head to the bar.

6:38: The bar is packed with people. I squeeze my way to a small open space by the corner of the bar. I am next to a 40 year old balding guy wearing a shiny black shirt, too much jewelry, and probably bathed in Drakkar before heading to the bar. He turns to me and asks sarcastically "Oh I'm sorry, am I in your way." I pretend to be oblivious to his sarcasm. I smile, and tell him no I'm fine.

6:40: I get the first round. Two bottles of beer. $14. I love New York.

6:50: Mr. Sarcasm and his friends leave the bar. After he walks past me, I feel someone give me a shove in the back. I turn to see Mr. Sarcasm and his friends laughing and walking away very quickly. It takes a real tough man to shove a guy in the back then run away. I'd like to introduce Mr. Sarcasm to my friend Mr. Pavement, but fight this urge since he's not worth my time or the visit from New York's Finest.

8:45: Six beers later, I decide it's time to start heading home. I have not seen one pitch of the Yankee game.

8:48: I remember I haven't eaten anything since lunch, but don't want to miss my train. I decide to get something to eat in Penn Station.

9:00: I get to Penn Station and realize I don't know when there are connecting trains in Newark. I get on the next train to Newark and will eat there.

9:10: My train leaves for Newark.

9:30: I arrive in Newark and see the next train home leaves at 10:11. This is more time than I'd like to spend in Newark.

9:32: I find my way to the men's room, which is only slightly cleaner than peeing a subway tunnel.

9:35: I find pizza and am happy. I go up to the train platform to enjoy my pizza and wait for the train.

9:38: There is a crack whore on the platform SCREAMING into her cell phone that she "told that motherf-cker that sh-t would poison her baby." I move to the far end of the platform so I can enjoy my pizza in peace.

9:41: I should have bought a drink with the pizza. Now I have to go back into the station to get something to drink.

9:42: I pass the crack whore again on my way to the station. She stares at me. I am scared. I put my head down and walk faster.

9:45: I am back on the platform drinking my Cherry Vanilla Dr. Pepper. I don't know why I picked this because I don't like Dr. Pepper. Although my train has been here the whole time, I decide to continue to wait on the platform and enjoy the fresh air.

9:47: Some guy on the platform asks me if this train goes to Plainfield. I tell him yes and he gets on the train.

9:49: A very small guy with a very large suitcase sprints to catch the train that doesn't leave for another 20 minutes, but just before he gets on he stops, turns and asks me if the train goes to Union. I say yes and he gets on.

9:51: Guy #3 asks me if the train goes to Zarepath. I say no, but he gets on the train anyway.

9:53: A woman asks if the train goes to Fanwood. I say yes and she gets on.

9:54: WHY THE HELL DOES EVERYONE ASK ME WHERE THE TRAIN GOES?!!! I realize I'm wearing a dark blue suit and these mutants (not cool mutants like the X-Men, but stupid mutants) probably think I work for NJ Transit. I decide it's time to get on the train.

9:56: I fall asleep on the train.

10:20: I am awakened by the woman behind me yelling into her phone that she is through with her boyfriend because he left her in NY to go with his friends and she's going home to her dad's house. She does not want to go with him to her sister's wedding and will go alone.

10:21: I think I have a shot at getting her number if I play the sympathy card. Then, my wheels of reason work through the remaining alcohol in my brain and I realize she is at this moment a man-hater and would go Lorena Bobbit on me if I try anything. I go back to sleep.

10:40: I wake up again to the announcement that we're arriving in Netherwood. I don't know where this is, but think it may be the ranch where Michael Jackson takes little boys to molest them. I comfort myself with the thought that I am a good 15 years too old for him and fall back asleep.

11:03: Sweet merciful God I am finally home. Now I can go to bed so I can get up and be back on a train in 7 and a half hours.

Funny website

2006-05-31T15:33:00.000-04:00

Just came across this website: Overheard in New York. Very funny stuff on there, and what makes this city great.

Back to work...

2006-05-30T16:26:00.000-04:00

Today is my first day back at work after a week off. There is nothing worse than the first day back at work after vacation. I got into the office at about 8:30 (thank you, NJ Transit for the lovely train delays) and opened my inbox. Uh oh. 375 new emails awaited me. Not sure how many of you out there are familiar with Lotus Notes, but unread messages have red text in the inbox. My inbox looked like Lizzie Borden had spent the night. For the next 7 hours I was an email machine. I did little else but read and respond to emails. I am now mostly caught up, but my to-do list is a little longer and I have about 30 pages of documents that I'm planning to read on the train home tonight. Now that it's 4:30, I can finally start on the work I had planned to do today.

One bright point was walking to the bank at lunchtime, there was some woman on the corner of 42nd and Madison handing out leaflets advertising "Emergency Typing Services." I got a laugh out of thinking what constitutes a typing emergency. Holy Keyboard Batman! If we don't type this memo immediately all of Gotham will be destroyed! Maybe it's last minute typing for papers that are due, but it still seems to me any time saved by having your work typed by what I'm assuming are very fast typists would be more than made up for by the time to send your work to the typist, as well as the time to actually write out what you want typed. Maybe I'm missing the point. I don't know.

Oh, and let me tell you how uncomfortable NYC is when it's hot out. According to weather.com, it's 85 degrees today in the Big Apple, which means it's about 400 degrees in the subway. Needless to say I wasn't feeling so fresh when I got to work this morning. Oh well. Only 3 or 4 more months of this and it will start to cool off.

Natalie Portman is a gangsta rapper

2006-05-28T14:49:00.000-04:00

Now I've got to say right off the bat that I am a big fan of Natalie Portman. You know how we all have that one celebrity that we would drop everything for? Well she is that person for me. So this may be biased, but when I found this clip of one of the bits from her appearance on SNL a few months back, I nearly fell off the chair from laughing so hard. You can judge for yourself, but I think it's clearly one of the best bits SNL has put on in a long time.

Fired for blogging, or something else?

2006-05-28T09:22:00.000-04:00

I was watching the show Penn & Teller's Bullsh-t on Showtime the other night, and they mentioned the story of a former Delta Air Lines flight attendant who allegedly was fired because the company found out she had a blog and had posted personal pictures of herself in uniform on it. The company determined the pictures were inappropriate and fired her. Now Penn and Teller (who I normally like) suggested that this was completely ridiculous, that how should a company be able to fire you for posting pictures of yourself on the internet. The flight attendant (the self coronated "Queen of Sky") also has played this angle, and has parlayed the experience into TV appearances and a book deal. Take a look at the pictures in question here. I don't think the flight attendant is as innocent as she is made out to be.

Take the first picture. Now, I have spent my fair share of time in airplanes, both Delta and other carriers, and I have never seen a flight attendant uniform that is low cut enough that it would "accidentally" expose the wearer's bra, as Queen of Sky claims is the case in this picture. Flight attendants spend a lot of time bent over to offer you drinks and meals, and none of them that I've interacted with have exposed themselves in the process. The other pictures, save for maybe the last picture, are also somewhat suggesting.

Now on to my point. What does it matter? Shouldn't we all be free to post pictures of ourselves (clothed, naked or otherwise) on the internet? Doesn't the first amendment guarantee of freedom of expression protect us? The answer is generally yes. However, I'd have to believe that what really got Delta hot under the collar wasn't that one of their flight attendants was posting pictures that could be considered sexual, but rather that she was doing it in a company uniform, on company property (the plane). I think companies have every right to say how their employees must behave while representing the company, and have every right to punish employees who act in a manner the company believes is inappropriate while on company property or while wearing clothing that identifies them as an employee of the company. Would anyone think it wrong if a hypothetical Disney employee was fired for telling a kid to "F--k off" while wearing the Mickey Mouse costume? Now if the Queen of Sky were fired for posting pictures of herself in her apartment and not in a Delta uniform, I'd line up right behind her to defend her first amendment right to express herself. However, my hunch is she new what she was doing, knew the pictures were inappropriate, and knew what the repercussions could be. Unfortunately, in our celebrity-obsessed culture, she's another person who is famous just for being famous, and is taking advantage of her 15 minutes through the book deal and TV appearances.

Guilty as Charged

2006-05-26T09:50:00.000-04:00

Ken Lay and Jeffrey Skilling, the former CEO's of Enron, were found guilty yesterday of almost all charges against them. There is a good chance that if the convictions are upheld on appeal, both men will die in prison. Hopefully, with the end of this trial, we can turn the page on this particularly bad chapter in corporate history and move forward. In the five years since this all started, the people who were behind the improprieties and fraud were punished, but unfortunately many innocent people were also hurt. I think it's particularly fitting that Lay and Skilling's defense of "I didn't know what was going on" didn't work. Hopefully this will serve as a reminder to all of us that we are responsible not only for what we do, but also for what we allow to happen through our inaction. When he was mayor of New York, Rudy Giuliani had a small sign on his desk that said "I am RESPONSIBLE." Maybe if Lay and Skilling had a similar sign on their desk (and belief in their head) they wouldn't be heading to prison, Enron would still be a major energy company, and Arthur Andersen would still be one of the world's leading accounting firms.

Ahh...Vacation

2006-05-22T13:16:00.000-04:00

Well, after three especially tough weeks at work, I am taking a week off this week. And let me tell you, this is the first time in my career where I really felt like I needed a break to recharge and decompress. I haven't had a real vacation since last Thanksgiving and in the past 2 weeks I've slept in my own bed only 5 nights and have been in three different countries (with very different time zones). I needed a break. I needed some time for my body to figure out what time zone I'm in.

A lot has happened in the past few weeks. As I mentioned in my last post, I traveled to Athens two weekends back. Just this past weekend I was in Vancouver for a friend's wedding. Last Thursday I became an uncle for the first time when my sister had her baby. I'm not going to steal the thunder from her and my brother-in-law, so you'll have to check out the baby's website at Baby Shetler for the full scoop. Nevertheless, I will say that my nephew Dylan is a very good looking kid (and more importantly a healthy kid)and I'm looking forward to meeting him. His mom and dad are doing well too.

There are many good stories from my travels over the past few weeks, but most are from my short trip cross continent to our neighbor to the north. I'll cover a few here. Even though this will be a long post, it'll make up for my recent absence. Note that I've changed the names to protect the innocent.

The Funniest Book I've Ever Read
My flight back from Vancouver included a 3 hour stopover in Minneapolis/St. Paul because I'm an idiot and can't read a flight schedule when I got the tickets. On the flight from Vancouver to Minneapolis, I had finished the (600 page) book I had bought in Newark before my flight to Vancouver so I needed to find a new book. I look around the airport bookstore and stumble upon a book called I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell by Tucker Max. I read the back cover and think it'll be amusing enough to occupy me for the next 5 hours (3 in MSP and 2 in the air to Newark). I was wrong. This book didn't amuse me; it made me laugh to the point of tears. To summarize, and without doing the book any justice, the book is all about the author's experiences with his friends and with various questionably-moralled girls that he meets. (Shameless plug, you can read a lot of the stories in the book at www.tuckermax.com) Now anyone that knows me knows that when I start laughing: a) it's very hard for me to stop, and b) it doesn't take much to get me started laughing again. So here I am, nearly hysterical from this book, when I happen to look over at what the passenger next to me is reading. No joke, the middle-aged man next to me is reading Algebra for Dummies. That was all I needed. I take one look at his book and, due to a combination of already being on the verge of laughter and a sense of intellectual superiority (I got a 5 on the Calculus AP exam), I start laughing and look away, but not before I notice the dirty look he was giving me. Oh well, I don't fly to make friends.

Me and the Tree-Hugging Hippie
I met my friend "Joe", whose wedding I was attending, while both of us were participating in a program in Washington DC two summers ago. We became close and kept in touch in the time since we left. Of the people at the wedding, I knew him, his fiance/wife ("Julie") and a mutual friend that had also participated in the Washington DC program ("Bob"). Needless to say, there are a lot of people at the wedding I didn't know. At dinner, I am seated at a table with other co-workers of Joe and Julie (Bob was in the wedding party), and make pleasant small talk. They are nice people. After dinner, I am having a drink and talking to Bob and a couple I had been sitting with at dinner when Joe's mom approaches (I had met her earlier in the day during the reception). She puts her arm around my shoulder and says, "I'm going to break this group up. FinanceBoy, there's someone I'd like for you to meet." Uh-oh. I don't have a good track record with the women that my friends have set me up with - and here I'm being set up by Joe's mom that I had just met. Adding to this foreboding is the fact I've spent the past several hours scoping the room, and gather that there are not many attractive women there that aren't a) married or b) with a date. By the time my brain has had time to process all of this, I am facing Joe's father with a woman about my age. I have seen her earlier in the day. She is attractive except...well, I'm not sure how many of you have seen Family Guy, but you know how they portray the British in that show with very large front teeth and enough of an overbite so that their front teeth don't quite fit in their mouths? Yeah, I'm that shallow. So Joe's mom suggests that the girl and I dance and I find myself leading the girl to the dance floor. I may be shallow but I'm not rude enough to turn this girl down to her face. I introduce myself and ask her what her name is. She says something, but I can't quite make it out over the music. Not a good start. We dance, and in making dance conversation, I ask what she does. She says she's a grad student at UC-Berkeley. I can feel a very Cartman-like dislike of hippies waking up inside of me. I ask what she's studying, and she tells me Environmental Science, specifically studying air pollution. I move the conversation to the more neutral territory of music. This was a smart move, as it avoided some inevitable disagreements, which most likely would have been instigated by my use of the term "tree-hugging hippie". She and I danced a few more times over the course of the reception and had a good time, making the obligatory promise that we would look each other up if we found ourselves in each other's city. Ironically, she was one of the few who did not make a crack about President Bush (I was the only American in attendance and therefore people felt the need to talk politics with me). I can't say the same for the subject of my next story.

Me and Stifler's Mom
At one point of the night, Bob and I were catching up over drinks and I leave to take a biology break. When I return, I see Bob talking to an attractive woman. I had seen her earlier with a kid, but dismissed the thought since there was a lot of family around and it could have not been hers. I file this thought under "obvious foreshadowing". Since they are one on one, I decide to hang back and leave them alone, but then Bob calls me over and introduces me to the woman, Liz, who is a cousin of Joe's (the groom). Now that I am closer, I notice that Liz is older than us, probably mid 30s. We talk for a few minutes, when Liz calls over her sister Jen. Her older sister. I assume the wingman position and make small talk with Jen while Bob and Liz talk. Here's a tip for all the ladies out there: Do not try to impress a guy by talking about something that you don't have a clue about. Especially if the topic about which you know nothing is the guy's profession. He will notice that you know nothing, and it will disgust him. Jen talks for a good 5 minutes about some international stock exchange (which doesn't exist), and how apparently her ex-boyfriend was trying to list a company on this (fictitious) exchange, but it was only to avoid regulation and defraud investors, and how Canada Pension was investing hundreds of millions of dollars in shady investments, and how people without a lot of money don't stand a chance (I'm not making any of this up - this accurately represents the course of our conversation). I am rapidly losing interest. Adding to this was the fact that every minute or so, she would introduce me to another of her relatives (which wouldn't have been so bad - except the nieces and nephews I met were only 5-7 years younger than I am). Just as I am about to stab myself in the eye with my drink stirrer, Jen and I both notice that Bob and Liz are making their way to the dance floor. Jen asks if I would also like to dance and, since I am obligated to stick with Bob by the Top Gun rule (never, NEVER leave your wingman) I follow Jen to the dance floor. As I am dancing with Jen, I begin to realize a few things:

Jen is easily 40 years old
The child I saw Liz with earlier IS her child
Liz is very much into my friend Bob
Bob has now realized what is going on, and that the woman he is dancing with is interested in him but 1) is significantly older than him and 2) has a kid already
Jen is very much trying to talk her way into going back to my hotel with me
Jen is not very intelligent, as evidenced by the following conversation:

Jen: So how do you and Joe know each other?

Me: We met when we both were working in Washington DC

Jen: Oh, you both were in that program?

Me: Yeah, we were there for 5 months together and got to be friends.

Jen: Oh that's nice. Joe must be pretty smart, eh? (She is Canadian)

Me: WHAT?!

Jen: Joe - he must be pretty smart to work where he does and to do that program.

Me: (stunned) Yeah....he's really smart.

At this point, my brain had had enough. Who asks someone they've just met whether their cousin is smart? Plus, besides the above conversation, she had already told me about the fictitious stock exchange, had made fun of President Bush and questioned the intelligence of those that would vote for him (NB: I am one of the tens of millions of Americans that fit into that category), and had filled me in on several of her loser ex-boyfriends. My only thought was: Eject...Eject...Eject. I could see that Bob is also looking for an escape plan. I tell Jen I need to use the washroom and before she can say anything I am off. Bob is not far behind me. On the way to the washroom (I really did need to go) I run into Joe and tell him "Joe, your two cousins are rather friendly." He laughs and says "Yeah, they're very friendly." I spend the rest of the night alternating between staying out of Jen's sight and making a point of dancing with the Hippie (whose name I had discreetly found out from Joe's mom) where Jen could see us.

There are more stories, but I think that's enough for now.

Jetlag blues

2006-05-17T06:00:00.000-04:00

Well it's been awhile since I posted, mostly because I've been travelling or preparing to travel for the past few weeks. I just got back from Athens, Greece yesterday afternoon and am now suffering from a pretty bad case of jetlag. There's a seven hour time difference between the eastern US and Athens, so it's a pretty noticable difference. I've found the best way to overcome jetlag is to just force yourself onto the time where you're located, but it's easier said than done. When I went to Athens, it wasn't that bad. I took an overnight flight, connecting in Frankfurt, and landed in Athens in the early afternoon local time. By the time 10-11pm came around, I was exhausted from the trip and so, even though it was mid-afternoon to my body, I was tired enough to fall asleep. By the time I woke up the next morning, I had pretty much adjusted to the new time zone. Things didn't go quite as smoothly when I got home.

I left Athens at 9am local time (2am New York time) and landed back in the US at 2:30pm. I got home, unpacked, spent an hour or so dealing with the emails that had come in while I was on the plane (since it was a workday) and had dinner. I forced myself to stay awake until 9:30pm, so that I would hopefully adjust just as quickly to New York time. Not so much. I woke up this morning at 4am and was wide awake. I can only imagine I'll begin to get a little tired around 4 or 5 this afternoon. The worst part is I'm only in town for a few days and leave for a weekend in Vancouver on Friday, so I'm sure when I return on Monday, my body will have no idea what time it is.

Out of Africa

2006-04-30T12:32:00.000-04:00

Today on the National Mall in Washington, DC and in cities and towns throughout the country, people are rallying to urge the government to do more to stop the genocide in Darfur, Sudan. To summarize the situation, since February 2003, the Sudanese government along with the Arab Janjaweed militia it supports, has executed a campaign of murder and other atrocities on the non-Arab population under the guise of fighting rebels. It is estimated that over 400,000 people, mostly civilians, have already been killed with another 5,000 being killed each month. Over 1,000,000 people have been forced to flee their homes because of the violence. The African Union military forces put in place to enforce a cease-fire have been largely ineffective. Now within the past few days, the Iranian president has told the Sudanese president that Iran would be willing to share nuclear technology with Sudan. Clearly, giving the tools and knowledge to build a nuclear weapon to a government that is engaging in genocide would only make this situation more tragic.

Now ironically, the same people who have decried US "imperalism" and use of the US military to intervene where we saw fit are now demanding that the US do more to stop the genocide in Darfur. The UN Security Council has passed a resolution demanding the Sudanese government stop the killing and disarm the Janjaweed militia. This has not been done. The Sudanese government has barred any UN peacekeepers from Sudan to enforce the ceasefire and disarmament. It has similarly threatened that a suggested NATO force would be seen as invaders and would be attacked. Nations should not be swayed by such threats. In the words of political philosopher Edmund Burke, "All that is required for evil to prevail is for good men to do nothing." It is indeed time for the US to act. It is also time for our allies in Europe and Asia to join us once again. Together, we are strong enough to put an end to the killing, even if it means forcibly disarming the Sudanese government and militia. Certainly we could all agree that this is a worthy cause.

Oh say can you sing in English

2006-04-29T13:39:00.000-04:00

I had originally planned to write about high gas prices. Then I heard about a new version of the Star Spangled Banner that's written in Spanish. Not only that, but there's supposedly a remix of the Spanish version coming out in a month or so that contains the following lines in English: "These kids have no parents, cause all of these mean laws ... let's not start a war with all these hard workers, they can't help where they were born." Now I'm angry, and you wouldn't like me when I'm angry. There is no reason our national anthem should be sung in any language but english. There is absolutely no reason for someone to insert lyrics protesting our government into the national anthem. Now I'm one of the first people to admit we are a nation of immigrants. For the most part, my ancestors immigrated to this country about 100 years ago, so I am sympathetic to immigrants. But let me clarify, I am sympathetic to legal immigrants, like my ancestors. When my grandfather immigrated to this country, he went through Ellis Island. He went through medical screenings and had to show that, because he was 12 years old, there was someone already in this country that would support him. Once he was in this country, he learned to speak english, put himself through college, and fully assimilated into the American culture. For the melting pot to work, everyone's got to melt a little.

I'd like to remind everyone who says that "we are a nation of immigrants" that we are also a nation of laws. When those laws are broken, there are penalties. When you break our immigration laws and enter this country illegally, you should be punished. You should be hunted down, arrested and deported. I understand we need the labor, so let's set up a legal immigration system that makes sense, but we shouldn't allow people to break the law because it's more convenient than creating a reasonable immigration policy.

I read something in the Wall Street Journal a few days ago that activists were complaining about the police "intimidating" immigrants by going on raids to round up people in this country illegally. The activists were complaining that because these people were scared of being arrested, they weren't bringing their kids to school, they weren't going to the doctor or going food shopping, and wasn't this horrible that these people were suffering because of the bad police. What everyone seems to ignore is that if you are in this country illegally, you are a criminal. The fact that these criminals are scared of getting arrested and aren't benefitting from our tax-supported institutions doesn't bother me in the least. In fact, I think the nationwide demonstrations next week are a great idea. The police should be waiting to check IDs and arrest any illegal immigrants that show up. Nice of the criminals to all gather together and announce where they'll be.

Well this post went on a little longer than I first thought, but this really got my blood running hot. I guess gas prices will have to wait until tomorrow.

GO RANGERS!!!

The playoffs have begun

2006-04-23T07:29:00.000-04:00

I am a big hockey fan and nothing beats the excitement of the playoffs. The past few years haven't been quite as happy for me (especially last year when there was no hockey). This is because I love the NY Rangers. As all you hockey fans know out there, the Rangers hadn't made the playoffs since 1997. To put that in context, the last time the Rangers were in the playoffs I was getting ready to graduate from high school. That all changed this year. Not only did the Rangers qualify for the playoffs but, until a spectacular late season losing streak, they were leading the Atlantic Division. Because sometimes the hockey gods smile kindly on TV executives in the New York region, the Rangers drew their cross-river rival Devils in round one, which began yesterday.

It all started well. The Rangers were playing well, and at the end of the first period it was tied at 1 goal apiece. Then came the game changing moment. It was 2-1 Devils toward the end of the second. Dominic Moore took a backhand shot that hit the post, hit off Brodeur and bounced away from the net. The Devils brought the puck down the ice and scored. Now, had Moore scored it would have been 2-2; instead it was 3-1 Devils and it went downhill from there. The Rangers lost their discipline and lost the game 6-1. Adding injury to insult, Jagr injured himself on a stupid play while killing a penalty with only a few minutes left in the game and no hope of winning. The Rangers return to the playoffs has not started well, but I'm hopeful they'll be able to turn it around.